Bardot or bust!

Here's my blog that ran on my good friend steph's site!!!!
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Now, I'm super psyched to bring you today's guest blogger who went to extra effort to get me her really amazing ballad while she and her kick-ass band were on tour with Social Distortion....I'm talkin' bout the one and only LIZA GRAVES OF CIVET!


If you've been following my blog for awhile, you know how much I adore Liza and Civet. I haven't been this into a band since I discovered the likes of Social D, Rancid, Hole, and Nirvana back when I was like 13.


If you haven't been following my blog, well here is the lowdown on Liza:


Liza Graves sings (and plays guitar!) for the femme fatale band Civet (check them out here!) And when she's not out touring/recording and generally trying to change the way women are perceived in music she does a bit of blogging/ modeling/ musical collaborating/ creating/ running her indie label (callgirl records)! She also is a VJ on Altitude TV which you can check out at www.rockonaltitude.com

Lastly, I cannot recommend Liza's blog enough. If you ever wanted to know what life is like for a real rock 'n' roller, you must start reading http://lizagraves.blogspot.com/. She's not a name-dropper or a kiss-ass, she just tells it like it is.... As she is about to do in this ballad.


The Ballad of Big Sister: Liza Graves


I am many things in my life… a rock n’ roller, a writer, a lover, a vj, an occasional dealer of weed (in the great state of CA where it’s legal), but most important, I am a big sister. In the grand scheme of things I have an even greater job and that’s shaping the lives of two growing human beings! I like to a think I had a hand in who they have become and I will be there to always take them through the tough times. If I’m lucky my little brother will be there to walk me down the aisle…..er, someday…not soon!

My little brother Joe is 15 and smarter than me (or so he thinks!)…he’s one of those kids that just was given what he wanted all his life…he’s gunna get older and land some girlfriend/wife/significant other to take care of him all the way, I can feel it…my job is to teach him to love and respect women. I like to think he respects his sisters….He’s had a bit of a bad upbringing, bit it’s not unfixable. For a 15 yr old he’s got his head on pretty straight! He totally doesn’t think I’m cool at all…There’s plenty of kids who would love to be able to say their big sisters play in a rock band, oh but not my brother….he’s into other things, like that Screamo/Hardcore stuff…Our convos go something like this “Joe! I just landed a Social Distortion tour, do you wanna come see us?” Joe, “Naw, that’s cool man….when are you gunna play with Saosin?” I swear he likes bands I’ve never even heard of which makes me feel either a) really old or b) really uncool….ha ha….

On warped tour recently I was able to introduce him to the toothless singer of that band “The Devil Wears Prada” who I didn’t even really know at all….I had my ALL ACCESS pass and this desire to impress my brother, so I made it work….I think he thought I was pretty cool after that (for like a day!) Someday, I tell myself, someday I will do something that bridges the little generation gap we’ve got going on. I’d love to get him on the road to tech for us, but I don’t think that would ever really work out. I mean, would you really want to tech for your two older sisters?

Did I tell you my brother is cool? He is, he’s one of those eternally cool kids, not the socially awkward ones, I look at him and just think, “how come YOU get to go through high school that cool and we were totally suffering as awkward ugly ducklings?” Someone definitely hogged the “suave” gene in our family!!! I wanted to include my brother in my tale because he doesn’t get enough attention from us, we are always on the road…I recently got to hang out with him in Seattle at my grandmas and he flew through Stephanie’s new book…which also focuses on a sister/brother relationship. Joe, am I cool yet?

My partner in crime aka my sister aka Suzi Homewrecker, on the other hand, I like to think I was actually responsible for turning out…She was doing great in school and was in a mock “sorority” as well as an active member of the cheerleading team….typical wannabe all american girl (in high school you’re never who you want to be)…I put a stop to that real fast!!! As early as 14 I would have her sit in for a song or two at civet shows….she still was blond, but I had all intentions of handing her a bottle of black hair dye, a guitar and an official spot in my band as soon as she was old enough. “Old enough” came sooner rather than later, she was officially drafted at 15.….just 15! I meet kids now in bands as young as 17 and I just can’t even wrap my head around someone that age being able to tour….It’s mind blowing and I have no idea how she did it…The period she entered the band in was crazy too….We weren’t just playing backyards anymore, we were starting to actually get somewhere….Suz and I had just schmoozed our way onto a coveted spot at DISASTER RECORDS (Duane Peters’ label) and had started feverishly writing. My sister and I pretty much single handedly penned the Massacre album…granted she was still a little young and inexperienced to be writing great epic rock songs, she definitely was my sounding board. I can remember sitting in my room being the bossy older sis, “Suz, play this!” so that I could write my solo over it. I’ve always written better with someone around, and my sister seems to have that magic something to get the good stuff really flowing. I’ve always felt like that though, not soley in music. Suzi has always brought out the best in me, the crazy fearless side….I like that when I’m around her I feel like I’m 20, not 25...she keeps me young….ha ha….

Suz and I have been though the ringer together and I’m proud to call her my best friend….There was even a time when my bad rock n’ roll influence actually started to sent her down the “road to ruin“. It was about 3 yrs ago, we were on the road with my sisters boyfriends band the Breakdowns (now the Strangers). She’s gunna kill me for telling this one, but I think it illustrates a really big point….that no matter who you are, or where you are, family comes first. We were all feeling a little cocky, it was our first tour in a while, we were getting in a little bit of late night “boy trouble” at a Motel 6 in Sacto….We had played a great show and split off into our separate groups at the hotel. I started feeling like something was seriously, seriously wrong…Like, I just knew…I jumped out of bed (one I probably shouldn’t have been in anyway) and ran to find my sister at the party room in the Motel 6.….Sure enough, there she was, my little 17 yr old partner in crime doing lines of coke with some serious bad influences. I was livid….more than livid I guess I was just scared. Being scared makes you do some seriously fucked shit….I grabbed her out of the room and pretty much pummeled her…I couldn’t stop screaming….Everyone said it wasn’t a big deal, but you know what? I knew better. I knew deep down that if I didn’t make sure she knew that this wasn’t ok NOW, it would happen again. I was fully responsible. I brought her into music. I put her in this life so early….and granted I set a really different rock standard of no drugs and no sleeze, it was still my fault that she was around those people at the Motel 6 at age 17… That night I had to make the choice of my sister, or my music….and all I could think was, “I don’t want to do this without her” …So after I gained control of myself enough to stop throwing punches at her and her bf (sorry Dave Stucken!) I told everyone we were leaving and threw her “good time” having ass in the van. We drove straight home without stopping…I knew that that in itself was a statement. That I would NOT put something like the band in front of her, that nothing was more important in my life than family and a cancelled tour was just one of the sacrifices I was willing to make to make sure she turned out alright in life. It worked. She doesn’t do drugs and although she pretty much grew up with the opportunity to be a big bad rock n’ roll kid, she’s totally got a good head on her shoulders. She’s respectful, she’s driven and she is one of the most amazing people I know…Granted we still argue about things like who the best Beatle was or whether a Fender or Marshall head gets better sound, for the most part it’s smooth sailing…and the best part of all of this is, I get to tour with my sister/ best friend…


Balance is the ultimate struggle in my life….I have to balance my relationships with my career….my rock career with my day to day job, my ego with my down home personality, my “Ms. Liza Graves” with “Just Liza“, my family life with my road life. In the end its definitely my family that keep me grounded. I like to give my sister and brother credit for keeping me grounded, reminding me that at the end of the day there’s nothing like family, that’s for life yo!


Today's Contest:
Really, there could only be one prize I could offer to go with that blog entry and that would be a copy of my book, I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone. I wrote that book because I dreamed of the day a ballsy woman would rule the world of rock. Liza and the ladies of Civet are exactly those kind of women. Not to mention the book is about family loyalty, whether it be the family that you are born into or the family you form from your friends.


So leave a comment to enter. Tell us about your sibilings or if you're an only child, friends or cousins who are like siblings, and the influence they have on you.