I wrote this back in November for AMP MAGAZINE (i think it only published online, but who knows!) Anyway...it's the FIRST TIME I've read it, cause I didn't think it actually went out there, but it's soooo good it makes me cringe and smile all at once...that's the stuff I LOVE, so I thought I'd share!!! There's NO comments allowed...I bet it got pretty knarly....but you know what they say...."well behaved women rarely make history"
The truth of the road….
In about a week we leave for tour again and damn I can’t wait! There’s something about living in a van that really calls to me. I’m not alone either. Being on the road , as long as you are with a band you get along with and the money is alright, can be one of the best feelings in the world. Who wouldn’t want to wake up, eat, hang out, then play to adoring fans? This much attention has it’s downfalls however….I mean really, you’re getting told “yes” and “damn, you are amazing, hot, rocking ________(fill in the blank) every night of the week, that by the time you get back home from tour, your perception of reality is a bit skewed. That might even be an understatement. This is a huge reason why relationships are strained on the road, I really believe it has nothing to do with how many “groupies” are available to you, but the fact that your significant other back home sees you for what you really are, er, a starving (albeit sexy) musician and occasional drunk. But on the road, you are like a superhero, and all that drinking you try to curb at home is encouraged EVERY NIGHT by the free drinks and minimal amount of driving to your hotel (if you even have a hotel, if not, even better, you stumble to the van!) You are surrounded by 24 hr party people (thanks Andrew w.k.) who are celebrating YOU being in their town…..Now if this sounds too good to be true and you’re not in a band, but now thinking you should start a band, STOP right there! The market is over saturated, there is no place for you….go home…It will probably take you 5 years to get to the “touring band” stage….so if you’re gunna get into making music, please get into it for the joy of creating and playing, not to experience the two faced beast that is tour life….Soooo you sleep in a van, you hang out and drink, you “play” every night…..is that all there is too it? Yep…..pretty much, save for the occasional interview or crazy van death story…..You are simultaneously bored and busy at the same time, how is that?….you get to the club at 3pm to load….but in reality you probably don’t load til 6pm...it’s the hurry up and wait game…..slowly you lose touch with your buddies at home…with your boyfriend/girlfriend/dog/mom…. hell, they couldn’t possibly understand the stuff you are experiencing out here. Oh and f.y.i, tour stories don’t translate very well…..what happens on the road stays on the road (aka code of the road)!!!! I’m excited that this time out I don’t have to report back to a boyfriend or any nonsense like that, that’s taxing…All the friends you lose back at home are replaced with other friends in bands who “get you” or fans whose house you crash at while on the road …Ok, so I’m sure you’re thinking “man, I thought she said touring was great?“ ha ha it is I swear, it is the most amazing time of your life… And besides the few drawbacks and hard work (everyone should move equipment, singers who don’t play, that totally includes your little bitch asses too) with a little luck and some great t-shirt designs, and the steady decline of gas you should come home with a little bit of money, a whole lot of new friends all over the country and start the infamous “after tour detox”….aka the come down…damn I love the road!
In about a week we leave for tour again and damn I can’t wait! There’s something about living in a van that really calls to me. I’m not alone either. Being on the road , as long as you are with a band you get along with and the money is alright, can be one of the best feelings in the world. Who wouldn’t want to wake up, eat, hang out, then play to adoring fans? This much attention has it’s downfalls however….I mean really, you’re getting told “yes” and “damn, you are amazing, hot, rocking ________(fill in the blank) every night of the week, that by the time you get back home from tour, your perception of reality is a bit skewed. That might even be an understatement. This is a huge reason why relationships are strained on the road, I really believe it has nothing to do with how many “groupies” are available to you, but the fact that your significant other back home sees you for what you really are, er, a starving (albeit sexy) musician and occasional drunk. But on the road, you are like a superhero, and all that drinking you try to curb at home is encouraged EVERY NIGHT by the free drinks and minimal amount of driving to your hotel (if you even have a hotel, if not, even better, you stumble to the van!) You are surrounded by 24 hr party people (thanks Andrew w.k.) who are celebrating YOU being in their town…..Now if this sounds too good to be true and you’re not in a band, but now thinking you should start a band, STOP right there! The market is over saturated, there is no place for you….go home…It will probably take you 5 years to get to the “touring band” stage….so if you’re gunna get into making music, please get into it for the joy of creating and playing, not to experience the two faced beast that is tour life….Soooo you sleep in a van, you hang out and drink, you “play” every night…..is that all there is too it? Yep…..pretty much, save for the occasional interview or crazy van death story…..You are simultaneously bored and busy at the same time, how is that?….you get to the club at 3pm to load….but in reality you probably don’t load til 6pm...it’s the hurry up and wait game…..slowly you lose touch with your buddies at home…with your boyfriend/girlfriend/dog/mom…. hell, they couldn’t possibly understand the stuff you are experiencing out here. Oh and f.y.i, tour stories don’t translate very well…..what happens on the road stays on the road (aka code of the road)!!!! I’m excited that this time out I don’t have to report back to a boyfriend or any nonsense like that, that’s taxing…All the friends you lose back at home are replaced with other friends in bands who “get you” or fans whose house you crash at while on the road …Ok, so I’m sure you’re thinking “man, I thought she said touring was great?“ ha ha it is I swear, it is the most amazing time of your life… And besides the few drawbacks and hard work (everyone should move equipment, singers who don’t play, that totally includes your little bitch asses too) with a little luck and some great t-shirt designs, and the steady decline of gas you should come home with a little bit of money, a whole lot of new friends all over the country and start the infamous “after tour detox”….aka the come down…damn I love the road!
Haha, that's awesome if you caused so much controversy at that site they couldn't allow comments.
ReplyDeleteI thought this was a great piece, really fresh and honest insight into what being on the road is really like.